Love, what is that?

By

Priyambda Samanta Roy (Sem I, 2023)

 

There is this movie, called Vickey, Christina, Barcelona, where a character, Christina, tried to find out ‘why love is so hard to define’ in a small video clip. The movie talks about love affair and how varied  love affairs could be.

Have you ever searched for an answer? I am not talking about experiencing it I am talking about defining it. When I was in class 9th, I remember asking my elder sister about it. She said you will get to know about it with time and really happened at the very least now I can differentiate which is love and which is not. I literally have absolutely no dating experience. So, talking about love is not something I should talk about. But I feel that not everything is about having an experience, isn’t it? You don’t have to put your hands in the fire to know the hotness or temperature of it. Right?

Before turning 13 I didn’t really give it a thought. I only knew about the romance between a couple known as love.

So, where is the first place where you have seen ‘’love’’? Either in films or in movies. To get to know about it I watched thousands of movies and dramas and talked with the people around me.

As I grew up, I observed that there are multiple types of love present i.e., familial love, sibling love, parental love, friendship love, and lover’s love, then after finding love that is seen/ found normally is not the only form of love we have. The affection that you show towards others the kindness and humbleness that you portray, and the careful behavior around others are also forms of love. Now when you meet a stranger or some acquaintance you also show love to them. The friendliness the good nature you show to them is a form of love.

For me, love is a mixture of emotions and gestures that includes RESPECT, TRUST, KINDNESS, HUMBLENESS, HUMANITY, AFFECTION, ATTENTION, and RESPONSIBILITY. These are the basic attributes of all kinds of love.

So where is the difference? How does the love we do to our parents differ from the love we show to our friends and how does the love shown to our partner differ?

When I meet some strangers, I give them the same respect and gentleness that I give to my friends.

Studies show that when you meet/ look at a puppy or your lover you release the same hormone called ‘’oxytocin’’. So, are we in love with puppies or does our partner look like a puppy? Both can be true but that’s not the point here.

Here, the point is it’s the closeness we want we set boundaries in every relationship. With some strangers, we don’t just want to be an acquaintance we want to be friends with them. With some friends, we want them as more than friends. With lovers we want them to be our family. So, we are the one who decides. Every affectionate behavior is love and love is affectionate behavior, isn’t it?

Love is not just a feeling it's an emotion that we all feel. It is the emotion that makes us the superior animals of this planet. We are good at expressing as well as receiving love.

Love is not just in positive/subtle behavior. It can also be shown as anger, tears, frustration, fear, anticipation, contempt, and regret.

There is a wide range of ways of expressing love and what you see is not always true, in many cases, there is much more to it. So, if you see someone frustrated, angry, or loathing it doesn’t mean that it is because they don’t understand you or your situation, it might be because they are just afraid of either losing you or seeing you getting hurt. Even if you think that they don’t understand the situation maybe they don’t but anyhow they are not there to harm you. So lean on them, cling to them, and love them dearly before there is only regret that is left for you.

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