Navigating the Maze of Mental Illness- My Journey through ADHD, Depression, Social Anxiety, and Panic Attacks
Navigating the Maze of Mental Illness- My Journey through ADHD, Depression, Social Anxiety, and Panic Attacks
by
Srutismita Rout (Sem V, 2023)
Introduction
The ADHD Rollercoaster
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a condition characterised by difficulties with attention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. This journey began in childhood, marked by struggles in school and difficulty in focusing on tasks. As an adult, I'll describe it as a rollercoaster of racing thoughts and the constant feeling of being "scattered." "Living with ADHD feels like trying to catch fireflies in the dark," they say. "You see glimpses of clarity and focus, but they always slip away just as quickly." Excessive talking, interrupting while someone is talking, inattentive, restless, overthinking every time, were my common symptoms. As a result, I still now sleep a lot as a coping process.
Managing ADHD has
always been a challenging process. Developing a structured daily routine and
practising mindfulness have helped me regain some control over their thoughts and
actions.
The Depths of Depression
Depression is a
silent, relentless battle that affects countless lives. It's marked by
persistent sadness, hopelessness, and a loss of interest in activities they
once loved. "It's like walking through a never-ending tunnel with no light
at the end," I recall.
Overcoming depression is a continuous process. As described above my coping process through teenage years as sleeping, I used to think if I will sleep through it, maybe I won't think too much about it nor do something irrational which I will regret later and bring sadness to people I know. The habit still persists.
Social Anxiety: The Weight of Judgment
Social anxiety can
be a suffocating burden, causing intense fear and avoidance of social interactions.
I'll describe social anxiety as a constant fear of judgement, leading to
isolation and missed opportunities. "Imagine standing on a stage, and the
entire world is watching, ready to criticise your every move, that's what
social anxiety feels like."
The Battle with Panic Attacks
Panic attacks are
sudden, intense episodes of fear that can be overwhelming and terrifying. It's
a horrible feeling of impending doom, heart palpitations, and a loss of control
that often
accompanies these
attacks. "Panic attacks are like a storm that comes out of nowhere,".
"You're sailing in calm waters one moment, and the next, you're in the
midst of a tempest."
Coping up with panic attacks isn't an easy task as it always finds a way to affect my daily responsibilities in some way or other. Yes of course over the years it's lessened but it's never zero.
Conclusion
Living with ADHD,
depression, social anxiety, and panic attacks is a journey filled with challenges
and triumphs. Mental health is not a linear path; it's a process of
self-discovery, self-compassion, and resilience.
There is strength in vulnerability, and let us not underestimate the courage it takes to share one's experiences with mental illness. By shedding light on these issues, I hope I can continue to break down the stigma surrounding mental health and support those who are on their own unique journey toward healing and recovery.
I have created a drawing that describes my experiences. In a moment of whim, I just drew it. However, it has acquired a new significance today.
Anger is symbolised by the red straight lines that emanate straight from the head. The five finger-like creatures represent anxiety. Two-faced girls represent multiple personalities I used to cope with above. The letters on the right side represent hallucinations that used to happen occasionally (mainly auditory). The Melting of colors under the face represents depression. As for the heavy red splatter, it's the responsibility that is holding everything also me in place.
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